Will Brexit Actually Happen? You'd Goddam Better Hope So

With more and more people expressing doubt over whether or not Brexit will actually happen, now seems as good a time as any to remind ourselves just why it should definitely still go ahead.

1) Because No One Wants To Holiday In Europe Anyway

Wayne knows what’s good for him – a solid weekend camping in the UK, none of this foreign holiday bollocks.

He made this point incredibly clearly to James O’Brien this week and definitely didn’t get totally put in his place and exposed for a complete understanding of how the EU works.

The best bit? When Wayne eloquently explained what we would do if Brits needed a visa to visit the Continent after Brexit.

I don’t know. I don’t really want to go to France.
Wayne, Brexit Legend

Too right Wayne! James O’Brien is peak-Remoaner.

And what would you know, Lineker? Stick to football.

2) Because Feelings Are More Important Than Food

O’Brien again here, with the cheek to suggest that eating is important.

A brave Brexiteer who sent an anonymous text responding to all O’Brien’s fancy “facts” and “logic” really hit the nail on the head.

“Hi James, people wanted to feel English. It’s a feeling. People don’t care if we go down starving, at least we’ll be free. Free from being told what to do by [the] EU.”

Good job too because we might not have the strength to fight back…but at least we’ll be free.

3) Older Leave Voters ‘Have More Life Experience’ So They Can’t Be Wrong

This gent was responding to a completely unreasonable Remoaner who dared to say “the Leave guys didn’t actually know what they were campaigning for so those of us voting also didn’t know what was going to happen”.

“I’m working, I’m a taxpayer. I could say ‘I’m older than you, I’m wiser than you, life experience’, so my vote is worth more, it’s more valuable in that aspect. It’s not fair, but it’s a comeback.”

Then she said something about how being older doesn’t necessarily mean being wiser, but that’s not important. 

4)  Because Knowing About Brexit Negotiations Isn’t Important, Only That We Brexit 

Wendy has her head screwed on right. She made the brilliant point last month that the British public don’t need to know anything about Brexit negotiations until it’s actually happened.

She got justifiably irate when that wretched Brexit saboteur, Gina Miller, dared to suggest the public in a democratic country might like to know the terms on which the biggest political decision in generations is being conducted.

Taking no crap whatsoever, she said:

“You don’t need to know. None of us needs to know, yet, exactly what’s on the table.

Another audience member then told Wendy she should “want to know what’s going on”, before being silenced by her stern reply. 

“No, because we know we want to get out of it and that’s the most important thing.”

Whatever Mikey, the Mirror is practically Communist.

5) Because Nigel Knows More About Nuclear Than So-Called ‘Experts’

The one and only Farge, who has never been elected an MP only because he’s not a member of the corrupt liberal elite like those bloody City bankers, is angry.

Farage reckons George Osborne is scaring people silly about maintaining access to vital nuclear materials, but says it’ll all be OK because we can get them from all over the world.

Five “nuclear scientists” said the whole industry would be a mess after Brexit, but what do they know? Nuclear is only a theory anyway, there’s no evidence it exists. 

Oh sod off Blanchflower. What kind of sissy name is that anyway?

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